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The thrill of a date with an older, wiser, higher-flying executive had faded.The allowances and gifts, which were once a happy bonus of my adventures, had become my main motivation.A French man invited me to dinner and offered to give me £500 for my time.“To prove I am a real gentleman, I will not expect anything more than dinner,” he wrote.At first I was horrified, and deleted such messages which filled my inbox. But then I learnt that one of my dates – a handsome 45-year-old energy trader – paid all the other girls he went out with for the evening.The non-exclusivity didn’t bother me – but I felt a mug for providing for free what he would have been willing to pay for.
It took me 18 months of receiving gifts in return for my company before I accepted money – or an “allowance”, as it is known on the sugar daddy sites.After several dates over four months, I vowed never to see him again. The first was a wonderful Malaysian divorcé who visited London four times a year and wanted a travel companion.We became so close that after six months, our cash arrangement felt inappropriate and we stopped seeing each other. Then there was an unhappily married alcoholic banker from New York who, on orders of his therapist, had given up drink on home soil, but when abroad allowed himself the luxury of intravenous Martinis. For him, I was his drinking buddy in a feminine form, and that’s what he paid me for. I kept what I was doing from my family, and of the carefully selected friends I told, most didn’t approve.His financial investment assuages his guilt that he can’t emotionally invest.Given that I didn’t want a committed relationship, it made sense to me.
I went on as many dates with men in their mid-forties or above as I could arrange.